Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
