there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
