in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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