I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My feet surprised me
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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