shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
The cops high fived after they tackled you
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
