You're my little dorito
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
