i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
