I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
