I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
