Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
