Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
