She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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