he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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