I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize