i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
