Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
