Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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