Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
