if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
