Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
