I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
bring money and cleavage
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
