And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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