used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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