didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
