Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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