need another drink. this is the easiest way
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
