hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
