I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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