Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
