is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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