Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
