So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ ðŸ‘ðŸ¼
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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