I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
