Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
