dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
