getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
