You just made me feel so damn special
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The power of my boobs compel you
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
