Where is the hickey?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
