Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
