I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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