Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
