i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
