Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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