Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
