dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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