i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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