just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
