another moral hangover. fuck.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
