so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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