Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
