I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
