I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
